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Get Your Sex Life Back After Baby

Published February 4, 2016 by teacher dahl

sex after baby

 

It’s the dirty little secret of baby-making: After nine long months, you’re overwhelmed by the love you feel for your newborn — and shocked to find how much havoc that bundle of joy is wreaking in the bedroom.

If you’re feeling less than lusty after having a baby, you’re not alone. “It’s completely normal for both women and men’s libido to hit a rock-bottom low during the first six to nine months following the birth of your baby,” says L.A. ob-gyn Sheryl Ross, MD.

Rest assured, you needn’t throw your sex life out with the bathwater. Here are a few secrets to help you dust off your sexuality post-baby.

Good: Adjust Your Expectations
Celebrity magazines make it seem like your waistline and your sex life should snap back to normal in a matter of weeks. But the experts know otherwise: Your new postpartum hormones are designed to make you lust-less.

“The first six weeks are definitely the hardest hormonally and physically for both women and men,” says Ross. If you’re a new mom, “your hormones are all over the place, your low estrogen level is in the menopausal range, your vagina is dry with little natural lubrication, and sex hurts. This is the normal baseline.”

Meanwhile, studies have shown that men’s testosterone levels dip when they become fathers, and the more they interact with their Mini-Mes, the lower those levels go.

First step: Don’t rush things.

“Most women will find intercourse painful up until the three-month mark,” notes Ross. “Once you cross that line, look for life to get easier in every way. I always tell my [female] patients, ‘It takes you nine months to go through the pregnancy. Allow yourself nine more to have your body return to normal, too.'”

Better: Take Two-Hour ‘Vacations’
“The best advice I can give to people to fix their libido is get some help [with the baby], says NYC ob-gyn Daniel Roshan, MD. “You can hire a nurse, or ask your mother, your cousins, your friends, your neighbors… I don’t know a magic bullet for fixing libido [post-baby]. It’s about exhaustion.”

On top of that, less free time and more chores can put sex on the back burner. “Even a two-hour vacation can make a world of difference,” says Sabitha Pillai, Ph.D., an assistant professor at the Center for Human Sexuality Studies at Widener University. “It’s short enough that the baby can manage without milk or formula, but the two hours makes a huge difference [for the parents] mentally and psychologically.”

Best: Just Touch Each Other
There’s one emotional snare that many new parents fall prey to: “A lot of us wind up transferring our emotional energy to our kids versus expressing it as a couple,” says Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist in L.A.

Much of it has to do with oxytocin, the bonding chemical we release when we hug, make love… and breastfeed. “Directly after giving birth, the mother winds up getting her oxytocin from her kid,” Van Kirk explains. “I see couples disconnect, emotionally and physically.”

To get back on track, start talking — and touching — right away to raise your oxytocin levels. “Even in the first six weeks, when intercourse is frowned upon, set up time to give each other a massage or a foot rub,” she suggests.

And don’t be afraid to be opportunistic about sex, whether that means setting a sex date or taking advantage of baby’s naps. “Even if it’s a quickie, it’s important,” says Van Kirk. “Sex begets more sex.”

From: Web MD

 

Reasons why Sex in the Morning is the Best time

Published January 23, 2014 by teacher dahl

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One of the many differences between the sexuality of men and women is that men tend to enjoy morning sex, while women mostly prefer to keep bedroom activity reserved for nighttime. This probably has a lot to do with what is referred to as nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT), which causes a man without erectile dysfunction to have three to five erections as he sleeps. NPT is more commonly referred to as “morning wood” or “morning glory.” Whatever you call it, waking up with an erection is as good a reason as any to initiate a little early action. Unfortunately, your girl may not be in the mood the minute she opens her eyes, but if you approach it properly she will very quickly be just as into morning sex as you are.

We have tricks that will ensure your sunrise sex session is totally appealing and super pleasurable.

For rocking mornings with your loving partner….

1. Prepare the night before:

In order to avoid having to get out of bed just when you are in the mood for the morning action, prepare yourself the night before. Keep some breath mints near the bed, to avoid embarrassment in the morning, before things start to get sexy. Also, be sure to go to the bathroom before you go to sleep to prevent having to get up to take a leak as soon as you wake up.

2. Gently wake your partner:

Your woman most likely does not know you are in the mood, early morning. So, start by soft and slow moves and let your sensual approach wake up your partner in a positive, loving mood that will make it much more likely that you both will have pleasure in morning sex.

  • Focus on Each Other’s Necks, Nips, and Shoulders

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Let’s be honest: kissing before brushing can be a major mood-killer. But it’s totally awk to hook up without kissing, right? Instead of going for mouth-on-mouth action, put your lips on the rest of his upper body to get things started.

3. Keep time in mind

It’s important to wake up early enough to get a little action in before either of you are due at work. You both need enough time to enjoy a little morning make-out time to start your day. It’s best if you can wake up before your partner so you can arouse him/her into consciousness with your moves.

4. Brush, if you can:

There is nothing that is more putting-off than bad breath in bed! Although you have mints besides you, if you do brush, the fresh breath will be a great turn on in bed. And then you woke up a bit earlier than your partner anyway, didn’t you?

Get, set, going! Have Great Mornings!

source: Ask Men
Cosmopolitan
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On Erectile Dysfunction : Things that can Deflate Your Erection

Published March 10, 2013 by teacher dahl

Depression

The brain is an often-overlooked erogenous zone. Sexual excitement starts in your head and works its way down. Depression can dampen your desire and can lead to erectile dysfunction. Ironically, many of the drugs used to treat depression can also suppress your sex drive and make it harder to get an erection.

Alcohol

You might consider having a few drinks to get in the mood, but overindulging could make it harder for you to finish the act. Heavy alcohol use can interfere with erections, but the effects are usually temporary. The good news is that moderate drinking — one or two drinks a day — might have health benefits like reducing heart disease risks. And those risks are similar to erectile dysfunction risks, too.

Medications

The contents of your medicine cabinet could affect your performance in the bedroom. A long list of common drugs can cause ED, including certain blood pressure drugs, pain medications, and antidepressants. Street drugs like amphetamines, cocaine, and marijuana can cause sexual problems in men, too.

Stress

It’s not easy to get in the mood when you’re overwhelmed by responsibilities at work and home. Stress can take its toll on many different parts of your body, including your penis. Deal with stress by making lifestyle changes that promote well-being and relaxation, such as exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, and seeking professional help when appropriate.

Anger

Anger can make the blood rush to your face, but not to the one place you need it when you want to have sex. It’s not easy to feel romantic when you’re raging, whether your anger is directed at your partner or not. Unexpressed anger or improperly expressed anger can contribute to performance problems in the bedroom.

Anxiety

Worrying that you won’t be able to perform in bed can make it harder for you to do just that. Anxiety from other parts of your life can also spill over into the bedroom. All that worry can make you fear and avoid intimacy, which can spiral into a vicious cycle that puts a big strain on your sex life — and relationship.

Middle-Aged Spread

Carrying extra pounds can impact your sexual performance, and not just by lowering your self-esteem. Obese men produce less of the male hormone testosterone, which is important for sexual desire and producing an erection. Being overweight is also linked to high blood pressure and hardening of the arteries, which can reduce blood flow to the penis.

Self-Image

When you don’t like what you see in the mirror, it’s easy to assume your partner isn’t going to like the view, either. A negative self-image can make you worry not only about how you look, but also how well you’re going to perform in bed. That performance anxiety can make you too anxious to even attempt sex.

Low Libido

Low libido isn’t the same as erectile dysfunction, but a lot of the same factors that stifle an erection can also dampen your interest in sex. Low self-esteem, stress, anxiety, and certain medications can all reduce your sex drive. When all those worries are tied up with making love, your interest in sex can take a nosedive.


Your Health

Many different health conditions can affect the nerves, muscles, or blood flow that is needed to have an erection. Diabetes, high blood pressure, hardening of the arteries, spinal cord injuries, and multiple sclerosis can all contribute to ED. Surgery to treat prostate or bladder problems can also affect the nerves and blood vessels that control an erection.

How to Solve Erection Problems

It can be embarrassing to talk to your doctor about your sex life, but it’s the best way to get treated and get back to being intimate with your partner. Your doctor can pinpoint the source of the problem and may recommend lifestyle interventions like quitting smoking or losing weight. Other treatment options are ED drugs, hormone treatments, a suction device that helps create an erection, or counseling.

source: Web MD

Top 10 sex positions for mind-blowing orgasms

Published February 22, 2013 by teacher dahl

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O yes!!
I always thought it was a myth that there are certain sex positions that can help a woman climax faster and better. Say it isn’t so? If this is true, why haven’t we been schooling our men? I took my inquiry to the sex-perts and uncovered that there are, in fact, such positions. Obviously, I’m going to share them with you — that way, we can all be having the best sex of our lives! Read on for the top 10 sex positions for achieving mind-blowing orgasms.

1. The butterfly position or modified missionary

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“With the woman on her back and her hips on the edge of the bed, the man penetrates her while standing. She then puts her legs over his shoulders and tilts her hips slightly upwards. This gives a wonderful angle for cervical stimulation with deep penetration that can produce some intense vaginal and uterine orgasms. With more shallow penetration, a man can stimulate the anterior vaginal wall to hit the G-spot.”

–Dr. Madeleine M. Castellanos, a psychiatrist who specializes in sex therapy

2. Modified coital alignment technique

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“A couple starts off in missionary position. Once a man penetrates a woman deeply, he allows her to bring her legs together between his. He then shifts his weight slightly forward so that the shaft of his erection is producing firm pressure and friction on her clitoris as he moves. This works very well for women that prefer to have clitoral stimulation during penetration to reach a very powerful orgasm.”–Dr. Castellanos

3. Baring the scepter

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“Either partner can perform this technique, although the bottom person’s hands may be more able to pull it off. Form a ring with thumb and forefinger around the base of the penis. Then, pull down so the skin on the shaft is taut. This exposes more nerve endings and increases the penis’ sensitivity — it can also help maintain his erection. Engage in intercourse with your hand still encircling the base to send his pleasure soaring.”
–Jaiya, new world sex educator and author of “Red Hot Touch”

4. The counter top
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“This is my favorite. It’s when the woman is laying on her back on the counter or table while he enters standing. It’s rough. There’s pushing aside of papers, pepper shakers which add to the sense of urgency and inappropriateness. It’s easy to maneuver and move the woman to slide along the counter. There is still contact. He goes deep and feels in control. It works all the way around. The keys are clothing, stuff in the way, and being in an open space. Still allows for connection while feeling dirty. It just works on so many levels. It’s not about acrobats. It’s about context.”  

–Margaret Wagner, sex expert and founder of Bedroom Matters

5.The seated scissors

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“This position allows the woman to have the control in order to determine the Depth and angle of penetration, as well as how much clitoral stimulation she gets. With the man laying flat on his back and his knees bent, she straddles him with one leg to the side of his hip, and the other leg between his legs. The woman can then find just the right spot to grind against his pubic bone with him inside her. She controls the pace, the depth, and the amount of pressure and friction she receives. This is definitely a prescription for mind-blowing sex!” –Dr. Castellanos


6. Get off, stand up
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“I’m no [pro], but whenever I’ve had sex standing up and holding my partner in the air or up against the wall, it’s been mind-blowing for both of us. I suspect it taps into some of our innate gender differences: the strong man and the small woman, which in turn heightens the sexual experience. It also forces us to be in a full embrace, which furthers the emotional connection, as well as our physical one. It’s physically demanding and not for all couples but for those that can, it’s highly recommended.” 
–Jim, an experienced heterosexual male

7. Uncloaking the clit
Image“Given a woman’s clitoris is buried under the clitoral hood and cushiony mons pubis surrounding it, it’s no wonder this tiny nub rarely receives enough stimulation during intercourse to catch the O-train. Your hands, though, can help change that. Form a ‘V’ with your index and middle finger and point your fingers toward your feet. Press this V onto the mons pubis, with a finger to each side of the clitoris. Then, pull up, moving the skin with your hand. This should unveil the hard-to-reach clit in all its glory, exposing this little love button to a lot more action.”

–Jaiya

8. Shake ‘n’ bake  

If you’re craving a quick-but-stimulating break from intercourse, this move is the perfect titillating timeout. To do it, the man withdraws and rests the tip of his penis on the clitoris. Then, hold the base of the penis and shake it quickly from side to side so that the head hits the clitoris with every wiggle. In doing so, you’ll be stimulating both heads at once — that of the clitoris and the penis — which should send you both into paroxysms of pleasure.”

–Jaiya

9. Pushing tush
Image“If your guy enjoys having his back door explored, reach around with both hands and grab both cheeks. From there, you can do ‘Butt Yoga’ (a technique whereby you spread the cheeks apart, then together, one up one down then vice versa) or ‘Anal Yoga’ (a technique whereby you place your middle fingers to the sides of the anus then spread them apart, then diagonally, then up and down). If that gets him hankering for more, feel free to delve deeper.”

–Jaiya

10.Happy scissorsImage
“Heating up hot spots aren’t your hands-only talents. They’re also great at moving body parts where you want them, and this technique is a prime opportunity. During intercourse, raise your legs, then have your man hold an ankle in each hand. From there, you can spread her legs apart, hold them together, part them at 80 degrees, the options are endless. And since the tendons of the legs pivot deep in the pelvic cavity, moving them around will subtly alter the below-the-belt sensations for you both. Talk about getting a leg up on a little variety!”

–Jaiya

source : .sheknows.com

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