Marriage

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Get Your Sex Life Back After Baby

Published February 4, 2016 by teacher dahl

sex after baby

 

It’s the dirty little secret of baby-making: After nine long months, you’re overwhelmed by the love you feel for your newborn — and shocked to find how much havoc that bundle of joy is wreaking in the bedroom.

If you’re feeling less than lusty after having a baby, you’re not alone. “It’s completely normal for both women and men’s libido to hit a rock-bottom low during the first six to nine months following the birth of your baby,” says L.A. ob-gyn Sheryl Ross, MD.

Rest assured, you needn’t throw your sex life out with the bathwater. Here are a few secrets to help you dust off your sexuality post-baby.

Good: Adjust Your Expectations
Celebrity magazines make it seem like your waistline and your sex life should snap back to normal in a matter of weeks. But the experts know otherwise: Your new postpartum hormones are designed to make you lust-less.

“The first six weeks are definitely the hardest hormonally and physically for both women and men,” says Ross. If you’re a new mom, “your hormones are all over the place, your low estrogen level is in the menopausal range, your vagina is dry with little natural lubrication, and sex hurts. This is the normal baseline.”

Meanwhile, studies have shown that men’s testosterone levels dip when they become fathers, and the more they interact with their Mini-Mes, the lower those levels go.

First step: Don’t rush things.

“Most women will find intercourse painful up until the three-month mark,” notes Ross. “Once you cross that line, look for life to get easier in every way. I always tell my [female] patients, ‘It takes you nine months to go through the pregnancy. Allow yourself nine more to have your body return to normal, too.'”

Better: Take Two-Hour ‘Vacations’
“The best advice I can give to people to fix their libido is get some help [with the baby], says NYC ob-gyn Daniel Roshan, MD. “You can hire a nurse, or ask your mother, your cousins, your friends, your neighbors… I don’t know a magic bullet for fixing libido [post-baby]. It’s about exhaustion.”

On top of that, less free time and more chores can put sex on the back burner. “Even a two-hour vacation can make a world of difference,” says Sabitha Pillai, Ph.D., an assistant professor at the Center for Human Sexuality Studies at Widener University. “It’s short enough that the baby can manage without milk or formula, but the two hours makes a huge difference [for the parents] mentally and psychologically.”

Best: Just Touch Each Other
There’s one emotional snare that many new parents fall prey to: “A lot of us wind up transferring our emotional energy to our kids versus expressing it as a couple,” says Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist in L.A.

Much of it has to do with oxytocin, the bonding chemical we release when we hug, make love… and breastfeed. “Directly after giving birth, the mother winds up getting her oxytocin from her kid,” Van Kirk explains. “I see couples disconnect, emotionally and physically.”

To get back on track, start talking — and touching — right away to raise your oxytocin levels. “Even in the first six weeks, when intercourse is frowned upon, set up time to give each other a massage or a foot rub,” she suggests.

And don’t be afraid to be opportunistic about sex, whether that means setting a sex date or taking advantage of baby’s naps. “Even if it’s a quickie, it’s important,” says Van Kirk. “Sex begets more sex.”

From: Web MD

 

This is what marriage certificates looked like in the late 1800s

Published April 10, 2015 by teacher dahl

Have you ever wondered what it was like for your grandparents or great-grandparents to fill out a marriage certificate?
Here are 10 marriage certificates from the late 1800s, which we found through searching the Library of Congress.

MC 1

1840-1850

Here’s a marriage certificate that was popular in the 1840s and 1850s. It features an image of a married couple in the center, with requirements for the husband on the left and requirements of the wife on the right. The requirements, which cite Bible verses, ask for the husband and wife to be loyal to each other.
1857
Here’s a marriage certificate from 1857 that comes from a mayor’s office. Though the writing is tough to read, the focus is on the two hands shaking at the bottom, which highlights the sense of unity the married couple will share together.

MC2

1869
This certificate from 1869 is as simple as it gets. There’s a beautiful photo of a married couple at the top, with spaces for the couple’s witnesses signatures at the bottom. Those definitely seem like the easy days of filling out a form, since it merely asks for the couples to write their names.

MC 31871
Two years later, we get this marriage certificate, which has two vacant circles for the couples’ personal portraits. This one specifically comes from New York City.

MC 4

1875
This marriage certificate includes beautiful flowers on the outskirts, which is a welcomed spice for the otherwise mundane certificate. It comes from 1875 and, much like the 1871 rendition, includes spaces for the marrying couple’s portraits.

MC5

1877

This marriage certificate from 1877 is more about the outside images than the rest of it. There are two married couples on the certificate, outlined by an exceptional bouquet of flowers. It’s a pretty marriage certificate, more than some of the plainer versions from earlier years. This also highlights a trend of marriage certificates including flowery images as the 19th century progressed.

MC 6

1880
And lastly, here’s Theodore Roosevelt’s marriage certificate from 1880 . That’s right. Teddy Roosevelt’s marriage certificate to Alice Lee. This certificate includes a space that asks which number marriage this is for the bride and groom respectively.

By : Herb Scribner national desaretnews.com

Reasons why Sex in the Morning is the Best time

Published January 23, 2014 by teacher dahl

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One of the many differences between the sexuality of men and women is that men tend to enjoy morning sex, while women mostly prefer to keep bedroom activity reserved for nighttime. This probably has a lot to do with what is referred to as nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT), which causes a man without erectile dysfunction to have three to five erections as he sleeps. NPT is more commonly referred to as “morning wood” or “morning glory.” Whatever you call it, waking up with an erection is as good a reason as any to initiate a little early action. Unfortunately, your girl may not be in the mood the minute she opens her eyes, but if you approach it properly she will very quickly be just as into morning sex as you are.

We have tricks that will ensure your sunrise sex session is totally appealing and super pleasurable.

For rocking mornings with your loving partner….

1. Prepare the night before:

In order to avoid having to get out of bed just when you are in the mood for the morning action, prepare yourself the night before. Keep some breath mints near the bed, to avoid embarrassment in the morning, before things start to get sexy. Also, be sure to go to the bathroom before you go to sleep to prevent having to get up to take a leak as soon as you wake up.

2. Gently wake your partner:

Your woman most likely does not know you are in the mood, early morning. So, start by soft and slow moves and let your sensual approach wake up your partner in a positive, loving mood that will make it much more likely that you both will have pleasure in morning sex.

  • Focus on Each Other’s Necks, Nips, and Shoulders

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Let’s be honest: kissing before brushing can be a major mood-killer. But it’s totally awk to hook up without kissing, right? Instead of going for mouth-on-mouth action, put your lips on the rest of his upper body to get things started.

3. Keep time in mind

It’s important to wake up early enough to get a little action in before either of you are due at work. You both need enough time to enjoy a little morning make-out time to start your day. It’s best if you can wake up before your partner so you can arouse him/her into consciousness with your moves.

4. Brush, if you can:

There is nothing that is more putting-off than bad breath in bed! Although you have mints besides you, if you do brush, the fresh breath will be a great turn on in bed. And then you woke up a bit earlier than your partner anyway, didn’t you?

Get, set, going! Have Great Mornings!

source: Ask Men
Cosmopolitan
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The 10 marriage commandments

Published October 17, 2013 by teacher dahl

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As we get caught up in day-to-day living, it’s easy to forget the basic behaviors that can mean the difference between a successful marriage and a floundering one. Every marriage is as unique as the people living it. But there are some universal commandments that can make every marriage better.

Whether you’re a newlywed or a veteran spouse, here are 10 marriage commandments that will help you stay in love, deepen your connection, and bring peace to your household.

1. Thou shalt show respect. Every individual deserves respect. In a marriage, it is never appropriate to demean your spouse, and physical violence is never ever acceptable in any relationship. If your marriage is disintegrating into squabbling and fighting, remember that sometimes it’s better to be happy than to be right.

2.Thou shalt be affectionate. The quickest way to pep up a marriage is to throw in a little love. Just being in close physical proximity to your spouse can take your relationship from me to marvelous. Hold hands, kiss your spouse goodbye and hold on a little longer when you hug.

3. Thou shalt communicate. Your spouse has a lot of wonderful qualities, but he or she has never been and will never be a mind reader. Chances are, your spouse wants to give you the world, but you’ll have to tell him or her what you need. Own your feelings and be honest about emotions.

4.Thou shalt forgive. Ruth Bell Graham famously said, “A good marriage is the union between two good forgivers.” We all make mistakes. Yet sometimes those mistakes hurt the person we love the most — our spouse. Be generous and forgiving when your spouse makes a mistake and your spouse will be more quick to forgive your indiscretions.

5.Thou shalt be kind. We have a mantra in our house: kind words, soft answers. Think back to how you spoke to your spouse when you were still dating and aim to keep that kind communication throughout your entire marriage.

6.Thou shalt be appreciative. Make a conscious choice to let go of little annoyances and devote more mental energy to thinking about all the things you love about your spouse. Your spouse does a lot for you; let him know that you are appreciative.

7.Thou shalt be loyal. Adultery is the quickest way to kill a marriage. Protect your marriage by avoiding the slippery slope toward infidelity. In our world of constant contact through cell phones and social media, keep all your interactions innocent. If you’re not sure if your behavior is appropriate imagine how you would feel if your spouse was engaging in the same behavior.

8.Thou shalt find balance. Cultivate friendships and hobbies that complement but are not dependent upon your marriage. At the same time, spend quality time with your spouse every day. You’ll be a better spouse if you are a well-rounded person.

9. Thou shalt be honest. It’s never OK to lie to your spouse, even if the lie seems inconsequential at the time. No good ever came from lying.

10. Thou shalt make decisions together. Avoid major marital drama by coming up with a game plan for life as a couple. All major decisions, including jobs, homes, children, and how to spend money, need to be agreed upon by both parties. In an equal marriage, both spouses should feel that their opinion is valuable and carries weight.

Marriage is not a one-time commitment but rather a daily choice to love your spouse the best you can. Just as the original 10 commandments teach us morality, developing a set of commandments for your marriage allows you to love your spouse more fully. Sit down with your spouse and take some time to discuss the values you honor in your marriage. Agreeing on your own set of marriage commandments will keep you on the path to a lasting and fulfilling marriage.

source: family share.com

10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex

Published May 2, 2013 by teacher dahl

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1. Less Stress, Better Blood Pressure

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Having sex could lower your stress and your blood pressure.

That finding comes from a Scottish study of 24 women and 22 men who kept records of their sexual activity. The researchers put them in stressful situations — such as speaking in public and doing math out loud — and checked their blood pressure.

People who had had intercourse responded better to stress than those who engaged in other sexual behaviors or abstained.

Another study found that diastolic blood pressure (the bottom number of your blood pressure) tends to be lower in people who live together and have sex often.

2. Sex Boosts Immunity

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Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A, or IgA, which can protect you from getting colds and other infections.

A Wilkes University study had 112 college students keep records of how often they had sex and also provide saliva samples for the study. Those who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of IgA, an antibody that could help you avoid a cold or other infection, than other students.

3. Sex Burns Calories

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Thirty minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more. It may not sound like much, but it adds up: 42 half-hour sessions will burn 3,570 calories, more than enough to lose a pound. Doubling up, you could drop that pound in 21 hour-long sessions.

“Sex is a great mode of exercise,” Los Angeles sexologist Patti Britton, says. It takes both physical and psychological work, though, to do it well, she says.

4. Sex Improves Heart Health

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A 20-year-long British study shows that men who had sex two or more times a week were half as likely to have a fatal heart attack than men who had sex less than once a month.

And although some older folks may worry that sex could cause a stroke, the study found no link between how often men had sex and how likely they were to have a stroke.

5. Better Self-Esteem
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University of Texas researchers found that boosting self-esteem was one of 237 reasons people have sex.

That finding makes sense to sex, marriage, and family therapist Gina Ogden. She also says that those who already have self-esteem say they sometimes have sex to feel even better.

“One of the reasons people say they have sex is to feel good about themselves,” she says. “Great sex begins with self-esteem. If the sex is loving, connected, and what you want, it raises it.”

Of course, you don’t have to have lots of sex to feel good about yourself. Your self-esteem is all about you — not someone else. But if you’re already feeling good about yourself, a great sex life may help you feel even better.

6. Deeper Intimacy

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Having sex and orgasms boosts levels of the hormone oxytocin, the so-called love hormone, which helps people bond and build trust.

In a study of 59 women, researchers checked their oxytocin levels before and after the women hugged their partners. The women had higher oxytocin levels if they had more of that physical contact with their partner.

Higher oxytocin levels have also been linked with a feeling of generosity. So snuggle up — it might help you feel more generous toward your partner.

7. Sex May Turn Down Pain

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Oxytocin also boosts your body’s painkillers, called endorphins. Headache, arthritis pain, or PMS symptoms may improve after sex.

In one study, 48 people inhaled oxytocin vapor and then had their fingers pricked. The oxytocin cut their pain threshold by more than half.

8. More Ejaculations May Make Prostate Cancer Less Likely

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Research shows that frequent ejaculations, especially in 20-something men, may lower the risk of getting prostate cancer later in life.

A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that men who had 21 or more ejaculations a month were less likely to get prostate cancer than those who had four to seven ejaculations per month.

The study doesn’t prove that ejaculations were the only factor that mattered. Many things affect a person’s odds of developing cancer. But when the researchers took that into consideration, the findings still held.

9. Stronger Pelvic Floor Muscles

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For women, doing pelvic floor muscle exercises called Kegels may mean more pleasure — and, as a perk, less chance of incontinence later in life.

To do a basic Kegel exercise, tighten the muscles of your pelvic floor as if you’re trying to stop the flow of urine. Count to three, then release.

10. Better Sleep

sound sleep 2

The oxytocin released during orgasm also promotes sleep, research shows.

Getting enough sleep has also been linked with a host of other health benefits, such as a healthy weight and better blood pressure. That’s something to think about, especially if you’ve been wondering why your guy can be active one minute and snoring the next.

source:  idiva.com
web MD

Top 10 sex positions for mind-blowing orgasms

Published February 22, 2013 by teacher dahl

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O yes!!
I always thought it was a myth that there are certain sex positions that can help a woman climax faster and better. Say it isn’t so? If this is true, why haven’t we been schooling our men? I took my inquiry to the sex-perts and uncovered that there are, in fact, such positions. Obviously, I’m going to share them with you — that way, we can all be having the best sex of our lives! Read on for the top 10 sex positions for achieving mind-blowing orgasms.

1. The butterfly position or modified missionary

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“With the woman on her back and her hips on the edge of the bed, the man penetrates her while standing. She then puts her legs over his shoulders and tilts her hips slightly upwards. This gives a wonderful angle for cervical stimulation with deep penetration that can produce some intense vaginal and uterine orgasms. With more shallow penetration, a man can stimulate the anterior vaginal wall to hit the G-spot.”

–Dr. Madeleine M. Castellanos, a psychiatrist who specializes in sex therapy

2. Modified coital alignment technique

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“A couple starts off in missionary position. Once a man penetrates a woman deeply, he allows her to bring her legs together between his. He then shifts his weight slightly forward so that the shaft of his erection is producing firm pressure and friction on her clitoris as he moves. This works very well for women that prefer to have clitoral stimulation during penetration to reach a very powerful orgasm.”–Dr. Castellanos

3. Baring the scepter

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“Either partner can perform this technique, although the bottom person’s hands may be more able to pull it off. Form a ring with thumb and forefinger around the base of the penis. Then, pull down so the skin on the shaft is taut. This exposes more nerve endings and increases the penis’ sensitivity — it can also help maintain his erection. Engage in intercourse with your hand still encircling the base to send his pleasure soaring.”
–Jaiya, new world sex educator and author of “Red Hot Touch”

4. The counter top
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“This is my favorite. It’s when the woman is laying on her back on the counter or table while he enters standing. It’s rough. There’s pushing aside of papers, pepper shakers which add to the sense of urgency and inappropriateness. It’s easy to maneuver and move the woman to slide along the counter. There is still contact. He goes deep and feels in control. It works all the way around. The keys are clothing, stuff in the way, and being in an open space. Still allows for connection while feeling dirty. It just works on so many levels. It’s not about acrobats. It’s about context.”  

–Margaret Wagner, sex expert and founder of Bedroom Matters

5.The seated scissors

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“This position allows the woman to have the control in order to determine the Depth and angle of penetration, as well as how much clitoral stimulation she gets. With the man laying flat on his back and his knees bent, she straddles him with one leg to the side of his hip, and the other leg between his legs. The woman can then find just the right spot to grind against his pubic bone with him inside her. She controls the pace, the depth, and the amount of pressure and friction she receives. This is definitely a prescription for mind-blowing sex!” –Dr. Castellanos


6. Get off, stand up
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“I’m no [pro], but whenever I’ve had sex standing up and holding my partner in the air or up against the wall, it’s been mind-blowing for both of us. I suspect it taps into some of our innate gender differences: the strong man and the small woman, which in turn heightens the sexual experience. It also forces us to be in a full embrace, which furthers the emotional connection, as well as our physical one. It’s physically demanding and not for all couples but for those that can, it’s highly recommended.” 
–Jim, an experienced heterosexual male

7. Uncloaking the clit
Image“Given a woman’s clitoris is buried under the clitoral hood and cushiony mons pubis surrounding it, it’s no wonder this tiny nub rarely receives enough stimulation during intercourse to catch the O-train. Your hands, though, can help change that. Form a ‘V’ with your index and middle finger and point your fingers toward your feet. Press this V onto the mons pubis, with a finger to each side of the clitoris. Then, pull up, moving the skin with your hand. This should unveil the hard-to-reach clit in all its glory, exposing this little love button to a lot more action.”

–Jaiya

8. Shake ‘n’ bake  

If you’re craving a quick-but-stimulating break from intercourse, this move is the perfect titillating timeout. To do it, the man withdraws and rests the tip of his penis on the clitoris. Then, hold the base of the penis and shake it quickly from side to side so that the head hits the clitoris with every wiggle. In doing so, you’ll be stimulating both heads at once — that of the clitoris and the penis — which should send you both into paroxysms of pleasure.”

–Jaiya

9. Pushing tush
Image“If your guy enjoys having his back door explored, reach around with both hands and grab both cheeks. From there, you can do ‘Butt Yoga’ (a technique whereby you spread the cheeks apart, then together, one up one down then vice versa) or ‘Anal Yoga’ (a technique whereby you place your middle fingers to the sides of the anus then spread them apart, then diagonally, then up and down). If that gets him hankering for more, feel free to delve deeper.”

–Jaiya

10.Happy scissorsImage
“Heating up hot spots aren’t your hands-only talents. They’re also great at moving body parts where you want them, and this technique is a prime opportunity. During intercourse, raise your legs, then have your man hold an ankle in each hand. From there, you can spread her legs apart, hold them together, part them at 80 degrees, the options are endless. And since the tendons of the legs pivot deep in the pelvic cavity, moving them around will subtly alter the below-the-belt sensations for you both. Talk about getting a leg up on a little variety!”

–Jaiya

source : .sheknows.com

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