If the human race has one fatal flaw, it may be an attraction to that which we cannot have.Look at the classic example of Adam and Eve with the snake and the apple.
The term “forbidden fruit” comes from that tragic tale of innocence lost. Ever since that fateful moment, it has been one submission to unlawful temptation after another. The compulsion to covet that which we have no claim to is a potent force few can deny.
Why oh why do we as men in particular, capitulate in the face of illicit desire? We want to be moral and pious and good, but we have more fun when we “sin.”
I do advocate monogamy, for one reason and one reason alone: I believe in the power of a promise. A commitment deserves respect in any facet of life, but no more so than in a relationship.
To be a free agent and sleep around (with available single women, of course) is one thing. So long as you are safe and state your genuine intention, you have been upfront and can go about your business without a trace of guilt. A secret to a happy life is to never have anything to hide and as often as possible, remain bound to an honest set of principles. That of course, rules out a liaison with a married woman.
Ah yes, the married woman. That manifestation of sweet, sweet forbidden fruit: so unattainable and yet so very enticing to so many men. Whether the wife of a good friend, a casual acquaintance or a co-worker, some of us cannot help but become drawn in by a woman with a ring on her finger.
For some of you, the allure of a woman in a committed relationship is magnetic.
- To sleep with her,
- To have her want you and
- maybe even fall in love with you, is a perverted sense of accomplishment and personal triumph.
But I can assure you that the ego rush we get when we have an affair with an attached woman is not worth it.
On to the variety of married women out there…
No matter how hard they push, flirt or tease, avoid them like a drug because once you get one hit, you may never recover. Here are some classic types to either look out for or never, ever approach, no matter how tempting:
- The Prowler: The profile here is of a woman stuck in a marriage of convenience (or in her case, in convenience). She either went through with it for money, social status or overall security and now the girl wants to get her freak on with any man who pays attention to her. Beware of her advances. Much like The Cougar, or older woman at her sexual peak on the chase for young male flesh, The Prowler is a jungle predator who will consume you and spit you out. But at the end of the day, you can never have her or control her. She can never fathom the idea of divorce and has no sincere interest in you. Be the better man and say “no.”
- The Thrill-Seeker: She is not a proactive hunter like The Prowler but she has a similar desire for mischief. Either a bored housewife or a corporate-type under stress, she is sick of her marriage routine and is in need of an outlet to vent. But rather than take a vacation or consider a new hobby, she has a boy toy side order in mind. The problem is that she does not present an overt sign of arousal or interest. So the consequences for you are much more dire, because unlike The Prowler, the initiative here is on you.
Her game is to seduce you with innuendo and the odd physical advance, like a stroke of the arm. The goal is to have you make the first move and “lure” her into an affair. But of course, she is the player here and you my friend, have just dug a major hole.
- The Young Wife: She is the ingénue, innocent and naïve, unaware of the real nature of your interest in her. The Young Wife went into marriage before she had a chance to experience life. She loves her husband and is devoted, dutiful and honest as can be. But she wonders what else is out there and now that the honeymoon period of her marriage has passed, she has to face reality.
Being the astute human observer you are, you sense her insecurity and under the guise of genuine concern, seek to exploit her vulnerable state. One psychotherapy session and bottle of wine later, and you have her where you want her: on the couch and naked. But rather than take advantage of her, you have her dress, take her home to her husband — a good man — and advise her to concentrate on her marriage. Right?
We’re not done just yet, here’s the worst of them…
- The Neglected, Lonely Wife: A head case if ever there was one; every man has had an encounter with a woman like this. Her marriage has gone south and her husband no longer has the time or inclination to invest in her or their relationship. Because her entire identity has been wrapped around her husband and the marriage, she is a mess and her sense of self-worth has gone south. Maybe the husband is having an affair or maybe he has abandoned her emotionally. The point is that she has a good case for a hefty divorce settlement. But that is not in her plan at the moment. Her marriage was an accomplishment and to admit defeat now is akin to a total personal collapse and failure. What would her friends and family say? There may be children to consider. Everyone in her circle is associated with her husband and so she seeks an outsider for comfort. But rather than a marriage counselor, she runs to another man. You. And the result is that you become her lover, shrink and new husband by default. Not a pretty picture is it? Be afraid men, be very afraid.
- Reminder : These are not marriage material
Rather than pigeonhole the entire demographic of committed women out there, let us say that these are four classic personas to beware of. There are others and of course, every potential affair has a special set of circumstances. For some of you, a tryst may represent a pure moment of weakness, perhaps with the benefit of alcohol or some other choice stimulant.
On the other side of the coin, an affair may be a serious relationship of the heart. The distinction between the two however, is zero. A woman in marriage is the same, regardless if her husband is abusive, a lout, a lazy, impotent bastard, or a complete loser. Be her friend, be her confidante if you wish, but for the love of God, do not take it to the next level.
The chance of a positive outcome is so very slim. Forbidden fruit may taste sweet but the result can be pure poison.
Source : ask men.com