It can be frustrating to feel limited by your parents’ restrictions. Even though you may understand where they’re coming from, you still feel that you have earned greater independence and trust from your parents. You feel that you’ve grown up far more than your parents have given you credit for. Here’s how to make your case to your parents and hopefully obtain some new privileges.
Preparing to Negotiate
1. Be more informed of what you want – Make sure you have a good understanding of what you’re asking for so that you will have answers for your parents’ questions. For example, if you want your parents to let you at least have a cell phone, research how much the phone and different plans will cost. If you want them to let you have a dog, research how much maintenance the dog will require and how much it will cost to have one. Explaining your case in an organized manner will help your parents feel more comfortable with the idea, because you’ll seem mature and thoughtful. Also, if you are willing to, consider paying for a portion of the price of something you desire.
2. Have sources. If you want to spend the night at someone else’s house, make sure your parents have access to your friend’s house number. If you want a body piercing or tattoo, have the number of the establishment or some reliable websites about the practice itself. It also helps if they know the person you want to sleepover with or if they have seen the tattoo shop before.
3. Write a list of main points. It’s easy to get caught in a shouting match and lose track of the points you wanted to make in the first place. Write down the 3 or 4 main things you want to say in convincing your parents. Go back to them during the discussion and make sure those points have been discussed.
In Convincing parents:
1. Pick the right time. Find a time when your parents seem relaxed and happy to have the discussion. It is not a good idea to ask for something when either parent seems stressed or tired, because they will likely be annoyed. If you haven’t completed something they’ve asked of you, such as chores or homework, this is another easy (and valid) reason for objection, so get those chores done first.
2. Maintain a calm tone. If you whine or get angry, your parents will likely think you are not mature enough to handle whatever it is you are asking them for. Even if you end up not getting your way, behaving maturely throughout will set the tone for future discussions that may go your way.
4. Compromise. Work out an agreement that makes both you and your parents happy. Offer to pay for part of the phone bill or do extra chores around the house in exchange. Make sure they are getting something out of this as well.
Responding to No
- Ask them why. You can always just ask for reasons of why they aren’t letting you do the thing you desire. Sometimes they will give you a valid point and sometimes it won’t make sense. As long as you do it in a mature fashion, most parents will be happy to give you reasons. Ask them their concerns and try to address them. This may change their minds. If you can find out why they say no, you can find a way remove that factor take or say it in a way that they will agree to. For example, if you cannot have a phone because they do not think you are old enough, then show them how mature you can be.
3. Be nice to them, but in a real way. Don’t make it obvious that you’re upset. Be kind to them and act as you normally would.
source: Wiki how.com